Day Four in Hyderabad

How wonderful to welcome longtime family friend and "brother" to Max -- Allan Stark from London! He arrived early this morning, his first venture to South Asia. Allan jumped in with both feet, joining us for breakfast and eating sambar, idly and samosas!



Today for the Saxena/Sinha family was Katha -- storytelling, and a time for prayer for the bride I believe. The Pandit joined them at Devika's Grandmother's home. This was their family time, and we were happy for them to spend this time together. I found this picture on Facebook posted by Ipshita, Devika's cousin of Madhuv, Devika's brother, Aditiya her father, Kalpana her mother, and of course our Devika -- what a beautiful family! Devika doesn't normally wear saris, but I believe all the women gathered wore saris for this event. My son is one lucky man, marrying such a sweet, intelligent, beautiful woman! Forgive me Isphita for borrowing this photo, but it was too beautiful not to include in the blog today.

The groom's side went on a walking adventure this morning. We stopped off in the sweet shop we had visited a few days before, and Allan's eyes were huge as he eyed all the sweets! The men behind the counter were the same ones who waited on us a few days before -- they were warm and welcoming. One thing though, they couldn't understand why Allan didn't want to taste anything! It was very typical -- you can have a taste of anything in the store, and they were anxious to be of help.

Allan got his first taste of crossing the streets here in Hyderabad -- when we got to the other side the first time we crossed, I know he was blown away -- I can just hear him thinking to himself, "it's a miracle we didn't get killed." Like me, he just hung on to Max and away we went! We headed over to Basra Pride for chai, but decided to stop off at Serene Domain right up the street where the Saxena's are staying to see if we could say hello. They had already left for Nani's home. As we headed down the stairwell of their apartment building, Max pointed out to Allan the men building furniture in the adjoining courtyard. Max asked, "do you all want to take a tour of the furniture making business?" We asked, "you know these people?" "No," Max responded. "But I can ask them." And he did!





Next thing we knew we were getting a tour, looking at all the different pieces of furniture the men were working on. There were over a dozen men working on various stages of furniture making -- from initial building to finishing. As it turned out, most (all?) of them were from "UP" -- Uttar Pradesh, the same state Max lived in for over 2 1/2 years when he was living in Lucknow. The men told Max (and he translated) about the various projects they've been working on. Among the most impressive was a 15 foot armoire, hand carved and lacquered white with gold leaf trim, which was being made for a family who live in Dubai but who have a home in Hyderabad. They also showed us four beautiful, hand carved bedposts they've been working on. Unbelievable! Here is a picture of us with some of the workmen. We were very happy to spend this time with them. We said our goodbyes and headed off to get some Iranian chai.

Max introduced Allan to Iranian chai at Basra Pride the same way he introduced his father to it a few days before: introducing them to the people who worked there, and then getting a paper cup for him to try the chai in. I don't drink it, but apparently it is very strong and very sweet, hence the small cups of it that are served. A big cup could put someone under the bus!





We then continued our walk to see if Karachi Bakery was open -- it wasn't, so we continued back up to the hotel, and got ready to meet our cab at 12:30 -- for our adventure in Char Minar! As we headed out, Allan was in awe of the way cars, motorcycles, auto rickshaws, bicycles, carts, trucks and pedestrians navigate the roadways. As we got closer to Char Minar, the roads narrowed and the streets were teaming with pedestrians and sidewalk merchants selling anything and everything you could think of, including fruits and vegetables, clothing, jewelry -- you name it, it was being sold. Our first order of business was to find cloth to make table runners/toppers for the Pasadena wedding. Our driver called his sister in law, who pointed him to one store. They didn't have what we were looking for, so the young man helping us walked us over to another store -- really -- and we found just what we were looking for. Perfect!





We walked over to the shoe merchant who was supposed to make Max's shoes -- remember from the blog the other day, Max can never find shoes to fit his ginormous feet in India. Max had given the merchant a deposit, and he promised to make Max two pairs of shoes, due to be picked up today. I knew within 10 seconds of being in the shop that something was dreadfully wrong. I can't speak Urdu, but I know Max and the look in his face said, "you lied to me." The man not only had NOT made the shoes he promised Max, but was trying, I think, to make excuses and get Max to buy the same ill fitting, tight shoes he tried to get him to buy this past Friday. NOT smart on his part. Max questioned the merchant's integrity and honesty -- and any of you who know Max, when he gets on a roll, watch out. By the time Max was done, as he didn't want to deal with this anymore, the merchant knocked 250 rupees off the price. Max took home 2 ill fitting pairs of shoes that he'll wear once and never again. Here's a picture taken from across the street of Allan and I standing outside the shoe shop, waiting for Max to finish his negotiations.

Among the wonderful things about Char Minar is the web of life that exists -- hundreds of merchants, thousands of buyers, incredible traffic and just -- LIFE. I can imagine that this is the way it's been done for centuries, and it felt so good and right to be part of the hustle and bustle. This is one of Steve's favorite things to do -- we both loved Chadni Chowk in Delhi, and the old part of the city of Lucknow -- Char Minar was no different for us. We hope to go back there at least one more time and continue our exploration before we return to California.

We headed back to the hotel, tired and hot. On the way Max had Ali our driver stop, and from the window of the car Max bought bananas from a vendor.

The Saxenas were at the hotel making the final catering arrangements for the wedding, so we got to sit and have coffee together in the hotel coffee shop (well, the Bruces ate while the Saxenas had coffee -- it was 4:30 and we hadn't eaten lunch!) Steve still isn't feeling well, so he tried to eat a little something but then went upstairs to bed. Max is preparing to pull an "all nighter", as my best friend (and one of his his Godmothers) Boo and her husband Larry are coming into Hyderabad at 1:00 am, and our daughter Jardine arrives at 6:00 am.

I leave you with some other views of Char Minar, and will end with a picture of Max yesterday in the front of the auto rickshaw -- Devika, Steve and I were in the back.




























- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Road No 1,Hyderabad,India

Day Three in Hyderabad

So it was another not-too-much-sleep night. On top of that, Steve woke with a bad stomach ache. Light breakfast for him, the now-usual Sambar and idly for me, and we went back to the room to rest until we would meet up with Devika at 12:30.

Steve was feeling better so we headed to lunch at Barbecue Nation -- Max's favorite restaurant in Hyderabad. We ate lunch, and promptly had to get Steve back to the hotel. A quick assessment suggested that Steve needed rest. Max made him an electrolyte mixture, and with the phone number of the hotel in my hand, and our cellphones, we felt confident we could leave Steve.

We needed to go to Neha's Boutique -- Neha, a designer, has not only a boutique with wonderful designer Indian clothing, but a tailor shop to boot. The goal was to get the blouses for my sari's sown. When we got there, Neha told Devika that one of the two outfits that Neha was sewing for her was done. Devika tried it on -- she looked so beautiful! You see, her grandfather gave Devika a sari, but Devika doesn't wear saris. She brought it to Neha to see what could be done, and Devika had something in mind. Neha actually came up with a better idea -- and the result was a garment that fit Devika like a glove, and was absolutely beautiful!

When it came my time to talk with Neha, she took my measurements. I thought I had to take the actual sari someplace else to have the "fall" sown at the bottom -- it's a kind of hem, but Neha said she'd do it. In addition, she also asked for the petticoats to be brought over as she would make sure they are cut to the right length. This was extremely kind of her, given that the Saris were not purchased in her shop. I will have them both done by Monday evening, in plenty of time to wear the blue one to the Mehendi party. Amazing.



We then headed over to the Center Mall, specifically to go to a store called Max (how convenient -- it's my son's name!) I found two kurtas (long blouses) and a churidar (cotton leggings that bunch at the ankle) for less than $23. Wow! Typically it is worn with a dupatta (a long, wide scarf) which sets off the outfit. Here's a picture I pulled off the internet of a woman in her churidar kurta with her dupatta. It is so comfortable to wear! In addition, it's very flattering to all women's figures. One of the ones I purchased yesterday goes nicely with my new pair of sandals (very colorful) I purchased to wear with my saris.

It was now 5:00 pm so we headed back to see how Steve was doing. Turns out he was a bit better, but was in bed. We decided not to go to Serene Domain where the Saxena's are staying for dinner, and instead stayed here to rest. Devika and Max left us to go over there. We had crackers and yogurt here - that was enough. We were both sad to miss the amazing cooking over at Serene Domain though!

So, you can see that not-too-much happened today. So I thought I'd take the opportunity to talk about some impressions of Hyderabad and India in general.

1. I remembered this from our time here in 2008, but it still surprised me: when you buy something in a shop such as Kalanjali, the person who has shown you what you want to buy at a counter writes up a ticket when you decide what you'd like to buy. They give you a copy of the ticket they wrote up, and they send your item to a front desk. You go to the cashier and pay for the item and the cashier gives you a multiple copied receipt. You then go to the front desk who double checks that you paid for the item(s) that were brought to that desk for you, they keep a copy, give you a copy for your records and staple a copy of the receipt to your bag. As you leave the store, the security guard takes the copy of the receipt that was stapled to your bag off your bag and puts it in a box. Honest. Really. At a department store such as Max that we we went to today, at each casher line there was someone there in addition to the cashier to fold and bag your item(s) for you.

2. The number of people available to help you at ANY store is unbelievable -- so many people to help in so many ways. This is in stark contrast to the US where oftentimes you have to hunt for someone to help you.




3. The number of people driving motorcycles, scooters, auto rickshaws, cars and trucks on the road is daunting. We got around town today in a number of auto rickshaws -- which are open air three wheeled vehicles. I had forgotten how crazy it feels riding in one -- I like it, but I'm always holding my breath a bit -- not only because, as I stated in an earlier blog, lanes on the road are only suggestions here, but because the auto rickshaws buzz in between motorcycles and other cars -- and there's the constant barrage of horn blowing as well. In addition, being in an open air vehicle like that means that you are smelling vehicle exhausts and just the general "smells of the road". While I didn't take a picture of the various auto rickshaws we road in yesterday, I do have this picture of an auto rickshaw I took when we were in Lucknow in 2008. The one in this picture was decorated out by its owner. You sit in the back and hold on!

4. The politeness level of shop owners and staff is warm and kind. I don't speak Hindi or Urdu, but I manage to make myself understood with those that don't speak much English. Many, many people here speak fluent English, so I don't normally have a problem.

I love India, I love the people, the food, the clothing. I'm so happy that Max has found Devika, that this important part of his life (being a Hindi/Urdu scholar) is enriched and informed by their relationship, and that they (and we) will always have strong ties here.

Well, our friend Allan will be arriving tomorrow from London to join the festivities. We'll be heading to the old city -- Char Minar -- to pick up Max's custom made shoes and to do some more shopping. I hope to pick up the table clothes and napkins I need for the Pasadena wedding/reception. I wonder who we'll run into, and what adventures we will have tomorrow in the old city?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Road No 1, Hyderabad, India

Day Two in Hyderabad

Time change has hit, and Steve and I were up at 4:30 am. We got enough sleep, but couldn't sleep past this point. No worries, we caught up on email, and in my case writing in my journal and blogging.

Kalpana (Devika's Mother), Gauri (Devika's Aunt), Max, Devika, Steve and
I went into the old city -- Char Minar. We went to go pick up Devika's Lenga, get the bangles we'll need for the wedding, and look at fabric for me for the Pasadena reception.





Driving into Char Minar reminded me of the old sections of Delhi and Lucknow. Char Minar is a mix of different people from different walks of life, most of the people being Muslim. The centerpoint -- the Char Minar is a building with four minarets (Char means 4, Minar means Minarets). As this is Ramadan, and it was Friday when we went, some of the shops were closed and the normal hustle and bustle of people was a minimum. When we got to Ahmedi, the place where Devika's lenga (her wedding garment) was purchased, the shop was closed. A few quick phone calls and the owner agreed to meet us there later. The good news is we then had time to do the other shopping we had to do. In this photo you can see one of the many streets with shops in Char Minar -- and a decent view of Char Minar itself in the background. Of the left you can see two minarets (one behind the other), and if you look through the upper pole on the right, you can see the other two minarets.

It began to rain a bit harder on us, but nothing that was unbearable. The weather was a bit cooler today, which made the humidity bearable. First stop was a little shop to buy small items Kalpana needed to bring back to the US, and to buy the appropriate string to tie the bundles of sari's purchased for the women in my family. We bought little things to bring home as well.




What I found fascinating in Char Minar, as I did in the old parts of the city of Delhi and Lucknow is how the shops are basically arranged by type of shop. Each city has it's own specialties, and Hyderabad was no different. Rows and rows of Hyderabad-style bangle stores in one area. Rows and rows of pearl shops in another area. Rows and rows of clothing stores in yet another. I was so grateful to Kalpana and her many years of shopping experience in Char Minar She knew just where to go, and the vendors to buy from -- it was amazing to watch her! Again, as this was Friday and it is Ramadan, the streets were relatively empty which made shopping and getting around easier. Normally the streets are packed!




The longest time we spent was in one of the bangle shop -- Femina. There were thousands of different kinds of bangles. I needed to purchase bangles to wear with my two saris. Kalpana was working with Devika to purchase bangles for the wedding day. It was interesting watching the men behind the counter listen to us, and pull out box after box of bangles until we found what we wanted and what fit. Steve and Max had left us to go get some coffee, and when they came back the owner of the shop offered to take them over to see where the bangles are made. Steve and Max went with him, and although they were not allowed to take photos of the process, it is basically three young women who work affixing hot glass beads unto copper backings. I was able to purchase some of the bangles they made, as well as some he buys from others to stock his shop. Here is a picture of the green bangles I purchased for the wedding, and you can see the wall of bangles and the men behind the counter. What you can see is less than 1/8 of the merchandise filling this small stall.




We headed back to Ahmedi, and the shop owner had just gotten there. Devika tried on her Lenga, and discovered that adjustments had to be made to the blouse. While I will not post a picture here of her lenga, let me just say, BEAUTIFUL! So, Kalpana once again successfully negotiated with the shop owner, who located a tailor and had the adjustments made on the spot (well, about 45 minutes). In the meantime, we went and found the two petticoats I'll need for my saris -- which we did -- they are "one size fits all", and as with the Salwar Chemise pants, you have a drawstring at the top to tie the top of the pants or petticoat closed. The picture here is of the shop when we first encountered it -- closed! But it gives you an idea of the area. As with some businesses there, it is expected that you take your shoes off and leave them at the door to enter the shop. Around the corner from this place was another place that Kalpana found to embroider the napkins and table cloths I want to have made for the Pasadena wedding--we went around the corner to talk with the owner. I now have to find the right fabric! That will be for another day.

We were all getting a bit tired. Max popped into a shop and bought us crackers to munch on -- we all had big breakfasts, but we knew we were probably not going to grab lunch, and we had a great chaat party to look forward to in the evening. Max has been so great in looking out after all of us.

As we walked around prayers came over the loudspeakers from the Mosque. I loved hearing this when we were in India in 2008 with Max -- and Char Minar was no different. There is something soothing and beautiful about prayer -- in whatever language, from whichever religion. It made me stop and say prayers for those I have been holding close in prayer.




We got back into the cab, and Kalpana stopped the cab in front of the line of shops selling shoes. We jumped out and walked into this shop that is literally under the mosque. Thankfully because I'm short I cleared the very low doorway easily. Max and Steve had to duck down low. Max and Steve were looking for shoes for the wedding (special sandals or typical shoes for Indian weddings). Because Max has ginormous feet, it has always been difficult if not impossible for him to buy shoes in India -- he recently purchased a pair of Dr. Scholl sandals there, for example. Max tried on the largest pairs they had, but no luck. He ended up ordering a custom wedding shoe and a pair of sandals to be made. Steve easily found a pair of sandals, and I found a pair to wear with both my saris. This is a picture of Max in the shoe shop (really a large closet) and the kind of shoes he was looking at on the wall.




We headed back to the hotel, and rested for a little over an hour before being picked up by Aishwarya who is married to Ipshita, Kalpana's eldest sister Urvashi's daughter. Max has been living with Aishwarya and Ipshita for the last month -- we are so grateful to them for taking such good care of Max! Aishwarya and Ipshita hosted the Chaat party at their beautiful apartment on the outskirts of Hyderabad. When we arrived, they put on Bollywood music and we all danced into the apartment to start the festivities of the wedding -- that was such a powerful way to say, "this is a party -- let's get it started!" They put out a beautiful spread of food -- pani puri, dosa, chutneys, chole, tav bhaji, aloo tikki, sambar, mini idly, peanut chutney, suji halva -- everything was DELICIOUS! I didn't get a picture before the buffet started, but here is the remnants with Aditya drinking chai.

I love Devika's family -- everyone is kind and wonderful! I am amazed by all the details Kalpana has put into this event for our children. As dinner was ending, we started practicing our bollywood moves -- music videos were put on and we all danced (well, most of us danced -- I did for sure!). No pictures of the dancing, though. I was able to take group pictures of Devika's male and female relatives, and a picture of Steve and me -- me in my new salwar chemise, Steve in his new kamikuri shirt which you will see below -- and the last picture is of the bride and groom.

I can't wait to see what my next day in Hyderabad will bring -- what adventures, what tasks to be done, but one thing I know -- there is life and love in the extended Saxena/Sinha family, and I'm happy to now be part of this amazing group of men, women and children.



















- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Road No 1, Hyderabad, India

First full day in Hyderabad

We all slept well last night, and woke up to a rainy day. This was the early morning view out our hotel window. I was so surprised by the number of cards, motorcycles, auto rickshaws, trucks and buses on the street. It was JAMMED last night -- a bit better looking out the window this morning, but not by a whole lot, even though it was before 7 in the morning when I took this picture! We spent some time talking about what we wanted to do this morning before we headed over to Serene Domain where most of the Saxena family is staying. Final decision: Iranian Chai and potentially the local Hindu temple.




We went down for breakfast -- the view from our table at breakfast here in the hotel was beautiful. It is raining outside -- it's expect to rain heavily today, lighter tomorrow, a bit on Saturday, and then be clear. The breakfast buffet was diverse, with American, English and Indian dishes being served. The wait staff was attentive to the point of being doting. The Maitre'D came over and made suggestions as I was heading down the buffet. When I went to get some sambahr (a hot soup made of vegetables -- it's a traditional breakfast you eat with idli -- a rice cake), he said, "Madam, allow me to get this for you." Next thing I knew a piping hot bowl was at my table. I'm not sure why I couldn't get it -- I didn't think I looked feeble! It is spicy and delicious. This might be my daily breakfast while I'm here. I took a picture of Max which included a picture of the view from our table. Here it is:




Well, as with most ideas, things changed! We took our showers and headed into the street. Two things about life in India which I was quickly reminded of from memories of our trip in the Northern part of India to see Max when he lived there in 2008: 1 -- the lines on the road are merely suggested -- on a 3 4 lane divided road you may see a combination of cars, motorcycles, buses and trucks driving 4 across on each side. Really. In addition, Hyderabad, as with many Indian cities has its challenges when it comes to things like garbage, etc. It was also very scary to cross the street. A quote from Max: "Mom, don't worry, they see you and won't hit you." You could have foodled me! I grabbed Max's arm as we crossed and said prayers. We did make it for Iranian Chai. Max isn't sure why it's called that, but both Steve and Max had it (I opted for water, having drunk too much coffee at breakfast). Here is a picture of the friend Max has made at the Iranian Chai place -- Basra Pride.




Basra Pride, as with most merchants, is a family owned affair offering employment to a number of people. There was a woman sweeping the area outside with a typical Indian broom (you use one hand). There were two people inside busing dishes -- there is no place to sit, just counters to stand at. We stood there for a while, and in the relatively short time we were there, three different sets of people stood next to me to drink their chai and get on their way. The chai is served in a small cup -- a quick couple of sips and you're done. Here in this picture are my two men watching their chai being made. Notice Max as acquired his father's hair style.

We headed back down the street and stopped at the Balaji market -- it's named after the shrine which is down the street. In fact many businesses in this area have Balaji in their name. What a wide assortment of goods here -- and Max almost flipped out when he found a bottle of Kraft's Hickory Smoked Barbecue Sauce on the shelf! Of course, there was a mixture of English and Indian products as well. The back area was FULL of bulk spices and grains -- I was tempted, but that would be too weighty for my suitcase!




Next stop was another Balaji named store -- the sweet shop. Apparently this has been a Saxena family favorite for years! When we went in, I looked up and saw a box that looked surprisingly like the decoration on Devika and Max's wedding invitation -- a paisley design in the same color -- purple. I asked about the box, and was told it is used to fill with nuts/dried fruits or Indian sweets. After much discussion we filled it with Indian Sweets to bring to the luncheon hosted by Devika's Grandmother that afternoon. Here's a picture of the box top and the sweets we had put inside (we could mix and match at our discretion -- Max and Steve sampled all the sweets that went into the box -- thinking about the Sari I had to get into, I passed on the temptation. Max said the box of sweets would be a hit -- a traditional gift for families.

We headed back to the hotel -- traffic had gotten even more congested since we headed out at 9 -- and again, it was a nail biter to cross the street. We took showers (it's rainy and humid outside) and finished just in time for Devika's father to pick us up to take us the few blocks to Serene Domain, a private set of apartments for rent near Devika's Grandmother's apartment and really, our hotel. We could have walked but were told that it was easier to drive.




Meeting Devika's family was such an honor and a joy! Devika's Grandmother Suraj and Grandfather Hemendra were there (that's her mother's mother and her father's father -- their spouses are deceased). Kalpana (Devika's mother) also had her younger sister Aditi there with her two children Preesha and Sitanshu -- they live in Iowa. Aditi's husband, Steve Rock, will be flying in from Iowa today. Aditya (Devika's Dad) had his sister Gauri there -- she is an executive on the Indian Railway, and a collector of Sari's. Steve and I had brought gifts for Devika's Grandmother and Grandfather -- hand etched glass plates from California -- I think they were a hit, along with the large box of sweets we delivered! In this picture from left to right is Aditya, Devika's Father, Maduv, Devika's brother, Devika, Max and Steve -- and seated on the couch is Devika's Grandmother.



The Serene Domain apartments are large and nicely appointed, and come with a housekeeper. Devika's Mom Kalpana and Kalapana's sister hired a cook for the summer -- we got to meet her -- Najmi -- a WONDERFUL cook. She was in a colorful salwar chemise while we saw her cooking. As she got ready to leave after we were all done, I noticed she put on her Burqa as she was ready to leave. Here is a picture of Najma and her helper Laxmi along with Devika's Grandmother's helper Rania. They were lovely women, and so kind. What was prepared for us to eat was: chicken biryani, roti, raita, mirchi ka salam, a prawn dish, matar paneer, lukhmi -- I think that was all, and it was an amazing spread! Here's a picture of the ladies in the kitchen. Najmi is the tall woman in the background.




I took various photos of the family members, but didn't manage to get a group photo -- I'll remember that for next time. In this picture Max is speaking with Gauri, Aditya's sister and Aditya's Father Hemendra. Aditya's father was a professor of English Literature, and did his PhD work on D.H. Lawrence. He was very kind, as was Gauri. Gauri said she'd help me with my shopping later -- and between Kalpana and Gauri, I was in VERY capable hands!






Kalpana (Devika's Mom) is such a joy -- full of life, and she has had her hands full getting all the details of the wedding set. It has taken her months, and now we are on the home stretch. I so admire her energy and strength -- and her wonderful smile and sense of humor! She has made getting to this point of the trip such a easy experience for us, but I know it has been difficult at times for her. The peacock/paisley theme from the invitations to the wedding have seeped into many things for the wedding here, and they will be present in the wedding in Pasadena in October as well. Here is a picture of Kalpana watching her mother open the gift we brought why Aditi's daughter Preesha (Kalpana's niece) looks on. Kalpana's Mom is quite short (yes, shorter than me), and she has a great sense of humor.


Aditi, Kalpana's sister, is a biology professor in Dubuque, Iowa and is married to Steve Rock, a doctor. They have two beautiful children -- Preesha and Sitanshu. Preesha is 2 years old, and put her "baby" to sleep by sitting next to it and patting its back, having covered it with a wash cloth (the baby's blanket). Sitanshu occupied his time with legos, asking Devika and me to help at times by pulling some of the small pieces of the work he made apart -- he's 5 I believe, and very bright! Here is a picture of Aditi and Devika -- Auntie and niece, with Kalpana standing next to them, looking toward the kitchen.




After lunch, I was taken to one of the bedrooms and the great surprise came -- I hadn't realized this was going to happen, so I was quite taken aback. You see, it is tradition for the bride's family to give the women of the groom's family sari's -- I was asked to pick the one I could like to have as I'm the mother of the groom. I picked a sapphire blue sari with paisley design on it. The other sari's were white with gold, burnt orange and green, light pink, pink/purple, and another sapphire sari the exact same as mine. I was taken aback by this generosity! I believe that Suraj (Devika's Grandmother) will present these at the Mehendi party next week, but talking with Kalpana later they may make the presentation to me earlier as I'd like to wear that sari to the Mehendi party, if that's okay with the family. This is a picture of the sari I chose. Notice the beautiful flowered bedspread -- this is very typical here, and I love them!




We then got into the cab which you can hire for four hours at a clip -- which you need if you don't have a car or don't want to drive in the crazy traffic I described earlier. Steve, Gauri, Kalpana and I went to Kalanjali -- this amazing one-stop-shop for ANYTHING you need -- weddings, casual events -- for anyone -- male/female, young/old. The motto of this store, which you see on their bags, etc. is "Our Weaves are our Worship". I was told I'd need a sari for the wedding -- and it took last than 5 minutes for me to choose an emerald green sari with beautiful embroidery. I had the opportunity to buy others which were very bejeweled -- but I chose a classic/elegant sari -- definitely a dress piece. The men were supposed to wear a Sherwani -- but Max ended up purchasing a very ornate Khurta -- so Steve and Aditya are doing the same -- wearing Kurtha's, that is. The one Steve picked was green as well -- so Gauri and I took it to see if it matched my sari -- it does! He also picked a peacock blue Khurta for the Mehendi party -- I think it will go nicely with the blue sari I was given which I hope to wear at the Mehendi party.

Max and Devika, who had gone to pick up Max's Wedding and Mehendi Khurtas from the tailor, came back with the cab and we all went over to the second Kalanjali store, where I found two ready made salwar chemises which fit nicely. Steve found a shirt -- Kalamkari design, which is famous in this region of India (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kalamkari). I found dupattas -- Indian scarves, to bring back as gifts -- all in Kalamkari style as well. Beautiful!

We headed back to the hotel and got back in after 6:30, tired but happy with our purchases. We were all supposed to go to Barbecue Nation, a wonderful restaurant here for dinner, but Aditya is ill (bad cold), and it is raining heavily. We decided to stay here at the hotel and the family at Serene Domaine -- they'll have left overs and order in kebabs. We went downstairs and had a small dinner of fish, chicken and goat kebabs, and roti/naan. A light dinner given our lunch.

I am blessed that my son is marrying such a wonderful woman, with a great family. Although it's a long haul to get over here, I love India! I leave you with a picture of the sari I purchased for the wedding as well as the Kurta and scarf Steve will be wearing for the wedding.






Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Road No 1, Hyderabad, India

On our way -- or so we thought

This series of blogs will be personal in nature -- the journey to and celebration of the marriage of our son Max to Devika Saxena in Hyderabad, India.

We had a 5:45pm flight out of LAX on Monday, July 8th. We knew when we booked the flight that we had a 10 hour leg to Heathrow (London), a 3 hour layover before our 10 hour next flight to Hyderabad. We were prepared (or so we thought). The first leg of the flight went off without a hitch -- we decided to stay up and sleep on the second leg of the journey, as we'd be getting into Hyderabad at 5:00 in the morning -- what better way to acclimate?

Well, guess what. After landing at Heathrow and walking for what seemed like miles and passing through security, we waited for our gate to open. The flight was listed as 45 minutes late -- no problem! When the gate opened, we walked over and were told to sit down, that the delay was going to be lengthened. Needless to say, 6 and 1/2 hours after we landed at Heathrow we were told the flight was further delayed due to mechanical issues with the plane, and that they were looking for another plane for us. One hour later they told us that there was no other plane available. Then the adventure REALLY began.

We were told by the British Airlines representatives that we had to go down to arrivals and pick up our luggage at baggage claim, then go through border check (immigration) and then head up to the Departures lounge and go to the E area for reticketing onto another flight and/or have overnight accommodations and go out another day. "There will be representatives posted along the way to guide you" we were told. Needless to say, there was NO ONE from the airline to guide any of us along this route. I kept stopping people to ask them where to go -- when you're not used to Heathrow, and you're not going a straight shot in or out, it can be a bit daunting.

At any rate, we made it to the departures hall, and because of the kind of ticket we had, we had to go to another area. There were people we recognized ahead of us in line. The man directly ahead of us was reticketed to go out on FRIDAY (this was Tuesday), and was given vouchers to stay at a hotel 55 miles outside of the airport, because that was all that was available. I teared up when the representative came by us, and told him that Max is getting married. He ushered us over to another area, and asked us if we'd mind another 6 hour layover -- he could get us onto a Virgin Atlantic flight leaving at 10:00 pm from Heathrow, arriving in Delhi at 11:00 in the morning. It would be a 9 hour flight. Six hour layover after that, and we'd be on an Air India flight to Hyderabad, arriving at 7:00 pm, 14 hours after we were supposed to arrive. We jumped on this opportunity. THEN he gave us instructions on how to get to the terminal where Virgin Atlantic was located -- another long walk and adventure in trying to get to where we needed to go. We again had to stop people and ask them clarifying questions to figure out where we were going, but we got there.

The Virgin Atlantic staff were kind. British Airways couldn't help us with seat assignments on either Virgin Atlantic or Air India, but assured us we had seats. The agent at Virgin was great, and very helpful. The staff on the plane once we boarded were exceptional -- EXCEPT that where we were seated was next to their bar -- I had FINALLY fallen asleep during takeoff, and was awakened about 30 minutes later to loud laughter/talking and the sound of cards being shuffled. A group of young man ending up sitting at the bar all night, drinking and playing cards. If I got one hour worth of sleep, I got a lot. I complained, but was told that they had the right to be there -- I asked them to just hold the voices down -- they complied for a while. This was the worst night flight I've ever been on. Not even listening to music or a movie
could drown out these guys.

The flight attendant (a young woman from Scotland) was very apologetic -- and made Stephen and me "goodie bags" to take with us, knowing our tale of the last few days and knowing the layover ahead of us.

The airport in Delhi has been updated since I was here 2008 -- wow, what a difference. Much easier to navigate through, with new shops, etc. The 6 hour wait was "doable" because all we thought of was, "we will see the kids in X hours", as the countdown moved along. There is now a Starbucks as well as a Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf in the waiting area for our flight -- wow, what a difference! What did I have to drink? What I love in India -- Nescafe -- honest, really. That's north India, according to Max. In South India, where we will be, we will have drip coffee that's supposed to be fantastic. I'll let you know.

Our Air India flight was on time and comfortable. I was falling asleep in the waiting area, and did fall asleep as I sat in the plane. I slept for about 1 1/2 hours -- I was exhausted. This revived me enough to be alert for when we saw Max and Devika. Walking out into the waiting area outside of the airport -- there they were! A 40 minute ride later, we dropped Devika off at her Grandmother's apartment where the family had gathered -- and we got to see Aditya and Kalpana (Devika's parents) and Madhav, Devika's brother -- so good to see them! We said our quick goodbyes and got back in the car, and we arrived at the Taj Banjara. We took long showers and headed down for a late dinner (9 pm) in the hotel -- delicious meat kebobs -- Patthar Ka Gosht (goat), Murg Nish Apuri (spicy chicken), Murg Malai (Chicken Kebob with cashew and cream) with Roti and Naan. Delicious!




Woke up this morning to this view early in the morning outside our window:
Can't wait to meet more of Devika's family today! We arrived 14 hours after we were supposed to be here yesterday, so they moved the lunch to meet Devika's grandmother to today. The hotel is within walking distance (less than 10 minutes) of the apartments where the family is staying (called Serene Domain), and very close as well to Devika's Grandmother's apartment. On the agenda after lunch -- shopping for a sari and/or salwar chemise!

Please remember that this will be a personal blog -- I've been asked put this together. If you don't care to follow this, no problem. I will be reflecting on each day -- what an incredible time for our family! I happy to have to walk along with me in my wanderings in this important time for us.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:On the road to Hyderabad

EAM Friday, June 22nd

Started out this day with morning prayer, which included a hymn in Korean, and a psalm sung partly in Tagalog that used interesting instruments featured in the pictured here. It's wonderful to hear the readings in Chinese, Korean and Japanese over these few days. We also heard a reflection entitled: The Green Leaves. This reflection focused on looking at where God is calling us to go, what God is calling us to do.




Participants were encouraged to take time to pray, think about and write down where they think God is calling us to go and what God is calling us to do as members of EAM (Episcopal Asian Ministry). Participants wrote their thoughts down on green leaves that were provided and hung their leaves on tree. A beautiful, haunting hymn was sung in Japanese and English about following God's light. We were then asked to bless the young ones in the tradition of "Mano po", a Filipino tradition where the young ones ask for blessings from the elders as a symbol of continuintiy and partnership between generations and empowerment of younth and young adult with and throught the widom of elders. This was beautiful and I asked for many blessings from people I know are younger than me!

I've been looking forward to hearing our keynote speaker for today -- The Rev. Dr. Rodger Nishioka, Professor at Columbia Theological Seminary in Decautur Georgia。 His topic for this keynote is Global Mission.




The title on the screen -- New Wineskins： Asiamerica Mission in a Changing Landscape -- was intriguing. As I've heard Rodger speak before, I couldn't wait to hear what he was going to share. He is fourth generation full Japanese. His ancestors came from Japan to Hawaii, and his family moved to Seattle when he was 11 -- and he was surprised that the world there was so "white" as opposed to the fact that 70 percent of the population in Hawaii are Asian or Polynesian. He showed some videos from Youtube talking about YOU KNOW YOU ARE ASIAN IF..... then a participatory discussion occurred about what EAM members in attendance understand about this topic. He then showed a video about what it means to be Asian Americans.
Asian Americans are the fastest growing group at 2.9 percent in the United States. They are eclipsing Hispanics/Latinos. 16 percent from Philippines, 15.6 percent India, 15.4 percent China including Hong Kong, 10.8 percent Vietnams, 9.4 percent from Korea.

Rodger went on to provide a great deal of statistics, studies, anecdotes and glimpses into the future. I couldn't keep up typing as fast as I could with all he was saying, so I'm grateful that he will be sending copies of his powerpoint presentation with those who attended. I won't try put all the information here, but let me say that I'm excited about his work and this keynote address -- it is along the lines of things we have been thinking about and working towards in Los Angeles.




I attended my first workshop -- lead by Jim Murphy from ECF (Episcopal Church Foundation) on raising resources for the funding of future ministries in the diocese. Jim did his homework with Fred Vegara as well as two other Asian Clergy to do research for this workshop. Jim talked about the fact that there are many types of giving -- Ordinary (annual Stewardship effort -- most people give to this through their regular income, which is affected by the economy -- this is primary work because it is from this giving pool that you can approach for other types of giving), Extra-Ordinary (Capital Campaign/Major gifts -- this is sourced from other assets and is used for enhancing facilities or raising endowment funds), Legacy Giving (Gifts to support the future ministry and security of a parish or its mission -- gifts people make out of their estates, wills or trusts or out of assets being held for retirement.)

Jim went through the different types of giving in detail talking about best practices that work in most congregations. He spent time asking questions, testing out the reality in the congregations represented in the room (it was packed with people -- about 40 people). He spoke about challenges for each type of giving. He talked about the work of ECF and how ECF can be of help in an individual congregation -- but also noted that there would be a fee charged to the congregation for this by ECF. It was helpful that he provided copies of the slides of his presentation. It was a good presentation.




After lunch we headed to the next offering that I signed up for -- lead by Brendon Hunter from ECF (Episcopal Church Foundation) -- Leadership for Vibrant Congregations. The focus was on engaging others, building a team and building a shared mission and vision. Brendan will be sending us copies of his presentation. To start, under the focus of engaging your community -- understanding who is around you and developing relationships with local leaders, as well as just walking your community to understand who is around you is important. Learn what it is to live and work in the community.
Looking for leaders -- Brendan offered that we need to be much more deliberate in looking for leaders. Look for people who are drawn to the vision of the congregation and/or to a particular ministry. Look for people who make commitments and follow through. Balance results, process, and relationships. Make a list of a few names of people who fit into these categories whom you would consider approaching over the next month to discuss where the congregation is headed. One-on-one conversations is the best way to approach a potential new leader, with you listening to them more than talking -- learning who they are. This is a time for an exploratory conversations. Intentionally engaging potential leaders in your congregation as well as leaders and partners in your community. It entails becoming an active presence, a part of the dialogue, and a partner in your community. It is an opportunity for growth and vitality -- and potential for growth in numbers. Brendan used our own St. Mary's Mariposa's story as an example -- I smiled!

We then heard about Mission and Vision -- Mission Statement -- What you Do. Vision Statement -- pictures church/world when "mission accomplished" -- some of the same things we've been saying in the Diocese. ECF quoted the book Leading Change by John Kotter. Again, St. Mary's was used as an example -- go LA!

I chose to do some necessary networking and skipped the third workshop. that proved to be fruitful in getting some needed questions answered and making more contacts for Asian Ministry for the Diocese of Los Angeles -- I am very grateful for this time -- while I was looking forward to our own (the Reverend) Laura Queen's presentation on Clergy pension and retirement information from Church Pension Fund, I did find the Holy Spirit moving in the conversations I was able to have outside the context of the large group gatherings we have been having.




The Province meeting got off to a lively start with the calling of the roll -- both the Los Angeles and California Dioceses were highly represented. It was a good meeting, with Mimi Wu and Warren Wong doing a great job. When the roll was taken it was obvious that the Diocese of Los Angeles and the Diocese of California were both very well represented. Warren spoke at length about what he is responsible for, which is justice related. To that end, he will be contacting each Bishop in Province VIII to send 2 to 3 people to a retreat this September to work on a proposed focus for each quarter -- human trafficking, immigration, economic injustice and the environment.
It is a wonderful convocation -- in a few minutes we will have our group picture taken -- then off to dinner.

I wonder what the Holy Spirit has in store for us tomorrow?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Bayshore Hwy,Burlingame,United States

EAM Friday, June 21st

We started out with breakfast early at the Hyatt and then had the opportunity to take a group photograph of most of the people from Los Angeles. Some didn't make the photo, but I hope we will be able to do that at some time.




Morning prayer was offered, with remembering the people, events we celebrate and the challenges that we still face in this ministry. So many people are here, which is wonderful to see! The number of young people here is amazing. They will be heading out after this morning's keynote to head to asian history places today, including Angel Island, China Town, the Asian Art Museum, St. Gregory of Nyssa Episcopal Church.




Bishop Stacy Sauls then offered the keynote address on Domestic Mission with a focus on the poor. Bishop Sauls told a wonderful story about meeting Jesus in the Cincinnati airport in the form of a shoe shine man. During the conversation with the shoe shine man, the man offered these wise words -- "If you can't get along with your brother or sister, you can't get along with me." This sparked something in Bishop Sauls, and he went on to offer the words of Jesus in his devotion of the poor. It is in meeting the poor, we meet Jesus ourselves. Jesus said we will always be in close proximity to the poor precisely because we are his disciples. We will always have the opportunity to share with them.

Bishop Sauls went on to offer that the poor are an incarnate reality, and in particular one poor person at the home. Not someone anonymous, but someone we meet and know, not someone anonymous. Jesus is saying -- start being with the poor -- starting being the poor. It is in those who are poor that we meet -- that we meet Jesus.

Bishop Sauls then opened up the group for questions. Good questions and comments were offered.




A panel of all bishops in attendance (10 of us, including 2 bishops from the Philippines, the Archbishop of Korea and 1 bishop from Japan) sat and answered questions from the group. Good questions were asked, and bishops responded as they felt moved to do or asked to do by the person with the question. Here is a picture of me answering a question -- I believe it was during the question of community based developments in any diocese. I just wish you could see ALL the bishops! It was great to hear fellow Bishops Prince Singh, Bob Fitzpatrick, Barry Beisner, Stacy Sauls and Mary Gray-Reeves speak on various issues. More, it was important that we were all there supporting this ministry.

After lunch, the various convocations met to elect new officers, do other business and make reports. I made it to all of them except one -- by the time I got there, they were done and gone.

Tonight I'm heading out with the Chinese Convocation for dinner in honor of two visitors: the Rev. Peter Koon from Hong Kong, and the Rev. Richard Lee from Taiwan.

I'll end by posting some of the pictures from the various convocation meetings -- it was so gratifying to see the faces of so many people from Los Angeles here! The rooms were packed with people! What a great blessing for the Church!































Posted using BlogPress from my iPad